Posting mode: Reply
(reply to 276) - View all threads
File URL
Password  (for post and file deletion)
  • Maximum file size allowed is 4906 KB.
  • Read the Rules before posting.
  • Read the do not post List before posting.

/di/ ~ After seeing a few people being quite annoyed with...
No. 276 Quote report

File 1364939370038.jpg

After seeing a few people being quite annoyed with so little post-op mtf's telling about their surgery and the results, and others confirming their likings of me telling a little something about it.
I decided, heck, why not.

First of, I guess a general introduction would be useful.
I'm 24 years old.
I was born biologically male.
Nowadays I struggle with society's view of genders, but also enjoy bending genders.
I mostly identify as genderambiguous towards the world, but deep down I feel that I am female.
There is a male side to me that pops in or blends with my female side from time to time. This is nice, but also very confusing.

I'm Dutch.
I like video games (skyrim, fallout 3, wipeout racing game series, okami, zelda, R-type) and board/table-top games (Eclipse, Pathfinder, Core Worlds, Agricola, Dominion)
I love longboarding when the weather is good and the asphalt smooth.
Drawing, fashion, music, dancing, tai chi, xing yi, art/museums and shopping are other things I like spending my past time on.

Through my 13th till 15th I was experimenting with feminine clothes and make-up.
At my 15th ish I realised I could also have feelings for boys
Between my 15th and 18th my genderdysphoria has laid dormant (as with most of my emotions at that time) and mostly outed itself online where I tried out the female identity.
At my 18th I realised I felt that I really was more a girl and decided to tell this to my parents
My parents are acceptive and have been very supportive.
Half way my 19th year I started HRT after half a year of analysis and diagnostic conversations at the VUmc genderteam, this was preceded with about a year filled with a psychologist, frequent visits, and super intense identity crysis.

At my 22nd I had my surgery.
Afterwards I realised that there was a lot more to life then just getting a vagina.
I had always prepared for that, knowing there is more after surgery.
But still, the dip was quite serious, combined with how quickly I tried picking up my college again.

Last year I met my lover and partner in crime, through his love and openness I began exploring myself and my identity more.
I now identify as genderambiguous and like wearing both guyish and girly clothes, mixing it all up.

I still deal with the genderdysphoria a lot, not having a womb kind of sucks.
I 'pass' or something, but I 'd much rather have the world be more gentle and friendly overal instead of me blending in perfectly like it's some dark secret that I'm transgendered.
Of course I'd much rather be born female, then start gender bending, then the way it is now.

I think that is me and my story in a nutshell sort of?

If you ask questions, about my vagina, my life, sex, or whatever.
I happen to be a person too, just like you and everyone.
I'm here to give some answers and help others out a bit too.
To some questions I simply do not know the answers, to other questions I prefer not to answer or will not answer, because of reasons.
I'll try to react to as much as possible, also when I'm not going to directly answer a question or comment.

I understand that neo-vaginas are a hard topic for post-op transgenders for many, varied reasons.
I feel insecure, probably just like any girl, trans or cis, about my crotch, about the shape, smell, colours, hair, overal look. Apparently this is pretty normal, which I think is worrysome.

Before anyone asks, no I won't post pictures of my crotch overal, my vagina, or any detail picture.

I can't say it's an easy topic for me either, but I'm willing to 'unveil' the mystery a little in hopes of letting you set your expectations right, and help you make the decision that is -right for YOU- regardless of medical pressure, peer pressure or confirming to socially acceptable views of the world.

That is all, for now.
Ask away.
(p.s. I'm GMT+1, this means it's often evening/night when it's afternoon/day in most of the americas)



Like, i don't think i've *met* women, cis or trans, who weren't hella insecure about their genitalia for at *least* a sizable part of their lives xD

Aaaanyway, i don't really have any questions myself (at least for right now), so i'll just say that you sound like an awesome person and i hope people other than trolls show up and ask some good, respectful questions :)


My main questions are:

Who did your surgery?
How was the recovery?
Did you have any complications?
How is sex/masturbation now compared to before?
Does it seem to look like other vaginas (if you've seen other vaginas in person)


Not the OP, but I had surgery about.. 10 months ago? It's an uncomfortable topic because we all know how brutal and "honest"/biased and cruel the chans can be, SRS is one of those things you get and then you're stuck with it and it's pretty important that you figure out how to be happy and confident with that part of your body afterwards.

Even if you think the results are pretty good and passable, putting photos on a chan where people can literally spend hours (if they want) starting at it and forming an opinion about your results based on knowing your medical history, is a pretty big gamble. It might seem like we have nothing to lose, but honestly if I put pics of my vag up here and copped a bunch of shit I'd probably end up really self conscious about it. Maybe once I fuck like 5 or 6 straight guys and get rave reviews I'll be secure enough to withstand chan hate, but until then, naw dude.

For reference, I've been passing consistently IRL for like 3 years. I'm "100% flawless" according to some (young, trans) people. I post pics here? I get like, a 6 or 7 out of 10 at best. I don't really care because my real life experience teaches me that I look fine, but I haven't had that same level of feedback on my pussy yet and it's possible that I never will - a lot more people will see and react to my face and body than to my genitals, you know? So basically like, until I slut it up a bunch to offset the inevitable criticism of the chans, I'mma stick to textual stuff.


OP, you should post your picture here or in the passing thread.

i know people LOVE running their mouths, normally when they actually know nothing about what they are talking about. i give people very honest but also very good constructive reviews so if you ever WANT a rating from people here (you said you posted your pic before, right? why not do it again when you know you'll actually get an actual review?) you should post it. or hell, just put it up and let me see it. im actually kind of bored too and i love doing reviews and i promise i won't talk out of my ass. im also stealth offline and passing so you can trust me when i say i won't get all 'jealous tranny' on you which i've seen some people accuse others of.

anyways this is an excellent thread so don't feel bad for posting it. if there was more threads like this /di/ would kick some more ass :O


Q: Who did your surgery?
That's actually a bit of a weird story.
I thought I was going to have surgery by a team lead by drs. M.E. Buncamper.
But it turned out I was specifically operated by a woman who's name I forgot... great >_<

I found this out on the day I was taken into the hospital to prepare for the SRS... kinda weird and messy, I know.
At the time I didn't care much though, I was actually quite pleased with having a female surgeon.

I had corrective surgery about a year and 4 or 5 months later.

Q: How was the recovery?
It sucked, but with most pains (that aren't traumatizing or mental), they fade.

Hospital: 5 - 7 Days:
In the hospital things were alright, I was bed-stuck and had to live on a liquid diet (these days it is different).
After eating solid foods on the 6th and 7th day, having a proper poop and a proper pee, I was released.
I had my first proper shower in over a week, which was amazing.
I was brought back home, positioned awkwardly with blankets formed like a toilet seat under me at most/ all times.

Home, the first weeks:
I was bedstuck mostly for the first days at home, and most of the time for the first 2 weeks.
I nearly fainted the second day I was home and tried walking too far and standing up too quickly from the toilet.
First time I had that, but I was sort of mentally prepared.

Dilating is extremely painful at first.
Take it the fuck slow, a very very gentle vibration, a hard plastic shape, and almond oil help a lot here.
Almond oil apparently doesn't need washing out as it moisturises and helps the skin recover, rather then get sticky and clog up like lubricants do.
I can tell more about dilation if someone wants.

I had a simple wheelchair hired (paid for by basic insurance stuff) so I could get outdoors, because being stuck in-doors for about 2 weeks is really, really bad for you (if you can't do much else then lay down, perhaps sit up a little)

Gaming was really hard as I was often so exhausted, I couldn't focus properly, making Fallout 3 hard to play due to the unreadable, blurry text.

Home, a month and a half in:
After about 6 weeks I was able to walk fully again, and good distances too.
By then I was so fed up with doing so little, I walked to the train station every morning, and went to school, under guidance of good school friends.

Not too much later I was attempting to get back into the college rythm.
This was extremely stupid, and after 2 weeks I realised I was even more exhausted then when I had begun.

A mix of heavy emotional crises and hardship, which hit hard.
It all rendered me unable to continue most of my college for the coming months.

Repeatedly tried picking college again, but I just couldn't keep up, physically, mentally, emotionally.
I took time off, eventually went on a holiday, took things easy.

We're talking about months after surgery here.
So please PLEASE listen to your body and the amount of energy you have, don't push yourself, don't exhaust yourself.
You simply will not be able to do as much as you did in the life you had before surgery for at least months.
Pushing your body's boundries will only slow or worsen recovery.

After about half a year I had someone over from the UK.
We slept together, sex was way too soon and caused a bloody mess.
It was enjoyable though, the guy is an asshole though, realised that not too long after all that.

My physical health was back up to speed about 8 months later.
I took up Oriental belly dance classes to work on my health and my femininity.
I started longboarding as well.
Later took up Tribal Fusion dance classes, which were intense and a heck of a lot more fun then the Oriental stuff.
All of which helped me recover loads, become happier with myself and my body and kept me social and healthy.

Mentally I was still pretty shaken but this is a very different story altogether.

After a year and 4 months I was having problems with some parts of my vagina.
(see the next question for more of that)

The recovery of the corrective surgery was a few months and was physically much less draining.

Q: Did you have any complications?
Not in a sence of medical dangers.
No infections, I lost a lot of blood but had a very high Hemaglobin count which compensated much for the loss.
I had apparently pushed out the thingy that was supposed to keep the inside of my vagina in shape, in an after surgery / anesthesia spasm.
It was far too painful to push it back at that time, so it would be something I'd have to work harder at when dilating...

During recovery I thought I had found my clit.
After more swelling had disappated, I was sitting on the edge of the bath after a shower, checking out my parts, then suddenly I thought I saw my clit tear in half, uncovering skinless flesh underneath.
This was a huge, HUGE shock.
I sat down in the bath, mirror in hand, carefully, carefully checking things out.
It was messy, with a lot of old blood being dried up here and there.
I couldn't tell if it was an open wound or not.

Later, I realised it was my clithood...
And the fleshy part, was my clit right underneath, which I hadn't been able to see, or clean due to the swelling...

The swelling took very long to dissapate completely, a lot of bruises in the area had sort of got stuck, the old, dark dark, almost black blood took ages to seep out of the last bit of open stitching...
This was no fun as it kept making dark stains, often right through panty liners.


After a year and a few months, the swelling had completely disappeared.
This is when I decided I wasn't happy with my major labia, outer vaginal lips.
They were very long and flappy and often folded over eachother, making my vagina a warm and broody, sweaty place.
So much that the folds sort of got stuck, and whenever I undressed, it just seemed like there was nothing there.
Being completely covered in stretchy, floppy skin, my vagina looked pretty weird, too weird for me.

But besides that, something far more important and impractical, was that too much of the part of the swelling body (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corpus_cavernosum_penis) of my cock had remained.

My penis was of the large average variant and, although giving lots of skin to work with, was also hard to clear out completely.

As a result, with too much swelling occuring during arrousal, my vagina.. sorta just blocked up, as well as protuding a bit of my clit and peeholetubething outward...

All in all this was just awkward, impractical during dilation, shameful during sex, and I had it corrected.
You basically get 1 free repair after your SRS here.

Further complications? I can't really recall, I think that's most of it.

>> File 1365024479936.jpg

Q: How is sex/masturbation now compared to before?
Hard question.
Masturbation rocks! Dry humping your lover whilst wearing pants and orgasming also rocks!
What makes this question so hard then you might wonder?

Compared to how I've experienced masturbation before, the now situation is kind of really great.
But the way I used to experience masturbation with a penis before, was, in hindsight, heavily influenced by the sexualisation of and feeling ashamed over: being a girl with a penis.
I definitely wasn't happy with my penis a lot of the time.

But I'm simply not sure if all that unhappy came from genderdysphoria.
A part of the discomfort and shame is caused by the insecurity I built up after countless of people, online and real-life.
That either stereotyped me into Shemale SexSlutism or YOU'RE A MAN IN DISGUISE!

Even after surgery I still get the YOU'RE A MAN IN DISGUISE from a few people whenever I tell about my past.
Sometimes I even feel my penis where my vagina is now.
Phantom limb style I guess.

At first I ignored this and wanted it to go away very very very badly.
Eventually, after a good while of it not going away, as well as finding a healthy and loving relationship, I admitted that I felt it to myself, and after a while to my lover.
Around this time I bought a packy.
I can tell more about phantom penii, packies, sexual fantasies and cross dressing if people want.

All in all.
Feel wise it's kind of the same, at first you'll 'miss' the feeling of ejaculation, if you still had it while on spiro ( I did ).
Don't expect to be able to orgasm right away in the first months after surgery.
I've had many attempts that ended bloody, at which point I decided not to masturbate untill it was clearly well healed.

Some numbness in the beginning didn't help.
But a good way to counter numbness is to stimulate, so don't stop touching yourself just because the feeling isn't complete!
Part of my crotch had no feeling in it till months after surgery, it's all reattached and recovered now.

I like orgasming, I like sex with my vagina, having an orgasm without stimulating your clit is possible but hard, not sure if that was just stimulating my prostate via my vagina though... it also rocks anyway!
More specific masturbation questions ALLOWED!

Q: Does it seem to look like other vaginas (if you've seen other vaginas in person)
I've seen a meager 3 vaginas up close in my life. A lot more vaguely but never spread up in a way you'd be able to compare the details.

Overal and when just standing, it's a vagina, it's unique like any other.
It doesn't look like a super shaved, sleek, labia-less pornpussy

Compared close up, hard to tell.
Every vagina is so different, all the vaginas I've seen at least.
One was really tiny and had a clit the size of a... I actually don't know many thing's that small.
A chocolate chip perhaps, or one of those silver candy pearls they put on cupcakes.
My clit is a lot larger.

My major labia look just fine and like most all others I've seen.
They're assymetrical too.

My labia minora aren't all roast beef-like, like some have it
Nor are they very defined, but at least I have them a little bit, which I'm very happy with actually, especially since this was not normally done in SRS.

Depth wise, hard to compare.
I'm more then deep enough, but it suddenly ends with me, whereas cisgirls have a womb which feels really different.

I have a fairly large clithood, I'm alright with this.