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/b/ ~ List the craziest/weirdest things you've done...
No. 6781 Quote report

File 1364975931733.jpg

List the craziest/weirdest things you've done while masturbating.


>be an hour ago
>got a vibrator about the size of my thumb
>stole from chicks house
>think it would be a good ide to turn on and shove in ass
>ok shower time
>turn it on and starts shoving in 
>felt good at first 
>and then its gone
>instantly forgot i had to take a shit about an hour before the shower
>at this point i feel nothing from the toy but still hear it
>its inside of me and i can't take it out
>start to push like if i was taking massive shit
>doesnt come out
>force it harder
>bad boy comes out but covered in shit 
>mfw it vibrated inside and was submerging it self in my shit 
>still don't know how to use it 

seriously this thing sucks dick


I remember how much I loved giving myself enemas
I do have a horror story though
>be me in third year of high school
>time for enema
>gather ingredients
>get amazing idea
>go online, look up new recipe
>hydrogen peroxide enema
>makes it feel bubbly apparently
>mix together batch
>shoot up ass with enema bag
>let it sit for 20 minutes
>push out in shower
>Sudden sharp pain
>what the fuck?
>Sit up
>Asshole burning
>intense pain all inside
>Quickly put cool water into bag
>Try another enema
>Suddenly blood
>FUCKTON of blood
>Holy hell what's going on...
>Sit on toilet
>Blood dribbling out
>Fuck me fuck me fuck me
>After a half hour of trying to convince myself I'm fine call mayo clinic
>Explain story
>They say go to doctor now
>Quickly get into car with huge wad of toilet paper under asshole
>Waddle into doctor's office
>Say it's urgent
>Doctor will see you now
>Waddle into patient room
>Doctor comes in 
>"What seems to be the problem?"
>Suddenly I look down and there is a red saucy substance all over my pants
>Little strands of spaghetti start coming out of pockets and waistline of pants
>Spills onto floor
>Doctor slips and falls
>Hits his back
>Spaghetti falls into mouth

But seriously...do NOT do an H2O2 enema...it really fucked me up...I'm fine now...but apparently it ate away the lining of my colon and caused it to bleed