>18
>Never had a job
>Have my GED
>Just got my license 6 months ago
>Come from low income family
>No college whatsoever
>No jobs calling me back
>No skills or trades at all
>Never owned a car
>Still live with parents
>inb4 I'm a brain surgeon making 6 figures at the age of 21 and fuck bitches everyday while drinking golden tequila
>19
>Graduated high school two years ago
>Haven't done shit since
>Joining Air Force
>Leave for basic in March
>Going for college reasons and to move out
>I still have no idea what I want to study in college
>Could care less about happiness, just as long as I can make enough money to support my self and my family in a middle class home/neighborhood
>Parents are getting a divorce
>Never happy, never sad
>Emotions are just kind of blank
>Hoping I can be happy once I am moved out
>32
>No job now
>high school dep
>Have car, no license
>No gf or bf
>No college whatsoever
>No jobs calling me back
>YouTube partnership that pays less than needed
>Still live with parents
>Just got off bail
fml
>60, not particularly wealthy, smart, or attractive
>First marriage 10 yrs, (in the 80s) current one 14 yrs, Brasileira
>Lived in 5 countries, 12 places in this one
>Accountant
>Don't sweat the sex/relationship stuff, or beat yourself up over it, you only control half of the game. Most of it is luck.
>Make yourself happy, only you can do it. >Don't be an asshole, and things will be fine
>Occam's razor is very useful.
in august, i had an abortion and ever since, i've not been able to enjoy sex or masturbation. i get sore too quickly, to the point of tearing up and nearly crying. thus, i've not had an orgasm for over eight months, and it's becoming extremely frustrating.
so what the fuck do i do, /b/?
Go back to your doctor and ask him for the fetus he aborted out of you. He'll have it in a hazmat bag somewhere around the office, all doctors do.
On your way home with the fetus, pick up a shitton of lube. You're going to need it.
When you get back, set out a bunch of newspaper, strip, and lie on it, on your back. Lube yourself up, and coat the fetus in lube as well for good measure.
Now, very slowly, insert the fetus all the way inside yourself. Make sure to use a swift thrusting motion to get it inside your cervix. This will hurt like hell, but luckily you can just bite your own tongue. Like a bullet!
Once the fetus is all the way inside your cervix, your brain will send secret fetus spices down into the fetus itself, reactivating it. The fetus will reanimate, and begin hitting all the pleasure buttons inside your womb.
This is the problem with abortions. Who's going to man the womb-buttons if there's no fetus inside your womb?
Over time, your pregnancy will develop. Do NOT let this occur. When you feel yourself going into labour, tie your legs together with duct tape. The fetus will attempt to escape, but when it starts to feel its head being crushed by your thighs, it'll get the message and crawl back in.
Hope this helps, good luck.
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you should have thought of the consequences before you had unprotected sex...expecting tax payers to pay for your party mistakes...and sentencing an innocent life to death...just remember when you say its just a clump of cells...science says YOU are a clump of cells...reap the benefits i hope your symptoms last forever
Hey /b/. Trap here just wanna ask for some cosplay suggestions since the night shift is slow.
>5'4"
>105 lbs
Preferably anything with tights.
Not doing pics of myself at work
>>9395 i've been underweight as a motherfucker before, pretty much skinny my entire life, but I gained weight like 3 years ago to normal weight or so, and I want to go back to my petite cute body
>>9396 hmm, i've been thinking about becoming a trap for a while now. I don't really have lust for cock but it's getting really boring fapping to women and wearing the same clothes all the time.
What would happen if a sun made of ice would collide with the normal sun, which is made of lava? Both suns are same size, and the sun made of ice is at -1000 Celsius, and the normal sun is at +1000 Celsius.
Would their temperatures cancel each other and leave only empty space, or would they leave a zero degree sun?
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Anata - The Conductor's Departure
Anything from Hieronymus Bosch
Coprofago - Unorthodox Creative Criteria
Beyond Creation - The Aura
Some Decapitated albums, maybe
I personally enjoy Benighted a lot, but I don't consider it that good.
>>7377 Good list, but they forgot Peacemaker Kurogane and Porco Rosso. Â Ok they actually forgot most of the great Miyazaki movies. Â Bonus points for mentioning Shura no Toki...I thought I was the only one who liked it.
>>7579 okay! this is taking so much time haha, but i'll continue
>i fall asleep pretty quickly because im tired af
>wake up to K moving
>"what the fuck dude? go to bed"
>"sorry anon"
>close my eyes and zone out
>about a minute later i feel K rest his hand on my lower calf
>i think nothing of it because of how little room we both have
>K moves his hand up my leg quickly >i deflect him with lightning quick reflexes, he doesnt even reach my thigh
>K chuckles a bit
>i do the same and then try to go to bed
>no less than a minute later K rushes his hand again up my leg
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>>7581 cont.
>K somehow teleports his hand on my upper thigh before i can react
>he feels my stuffed tshirt and retracts his hand
>at this point i have a raging erection for some reason >move my hand at the base of my shirt for extra protection
>bonerguard2.0
>K once again darts his hand up my leg
>his hand hits mine
>i cannot move his hand away due to my extra protection
>he just keeps his hand there
>i get goosebumbs and +1 erection
>K slowly pries my hand free
>my defense has been compromised
>the enemy has breached my guard
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>>7582 >his hand is too low
>K's fingers hit my bareskin gooch
>i feel those icy fingers move up to my sack
>he passionately rubs each testicle ever so slightly >i just stare up in amazement, trying to fathom what is happening
>apparently his arm was stretched as far as it could go, so he shimmies his body down a bit
>his full hand is now around my testicles/gooch
>K snakes his hand up to my raging cock
>his and my breath get heavier
>he leisurely strokes the base of my boner with his soft, tiny hands
>his hand moves up and down, escalating to a steady pace
>using his other hand, K guides my dormant hand to his shorts >i just go with the flow
>they are too tight to penetrate, so i move my hand to the crotch of his shorts
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>>7583 >i swiftly get a grip of his cock
>it feels different than mine, much more curved and short
>i dont care though, i just stroke away at the little guy
>after around a minute of concentrated stroking, K moves his hand out of my pants
>i am very puzzled
>he props his body up so he is sitting indian style on the couch
>i tilt my head down to see what he is up to
>he peers over the side of the couch, looking at T and H
>i move my head over as well
>T's head is literally a foot aways from mine
>silentpanic.gif
>K assures me "we're good, dont worry"
>i calm down a bit
>K collapses his body so he is facing me
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>>7584 fuck sorry guys, im a bit autistic when it comes to typing. basically after that i just passed out haha. i woke up the next morning wondering what had happened. K and i are still buddies today, we have never talked about our little explorations with anyone. you are the first to here /b/
oh, i have tons of other stories involving K and i throughout middle and high school if you are interested. any takers?
So, /b/. What do you think about aliens? I don't mean Ricardo from Puerto Rico. I mean extraterrestrials. Answer me this:
>Do you think they exist?
>Do you think they have visited Earth?
>Do you believe the videos you see on YouTube?
>Does NASA or the Government know something we don't?
>Do you think everyone who thinks the Government is hiding shit from us is a tin-foil hat wearer?
>Why do you think they do or do not exist?
Any more information/links to shit are of course welcome. And please, if you post something that's crazy proof or something else, please use a Proxy or twelve. If the thread 404's, there is something that was posted whether it was information or a video, some shit is getting real.
I advise you to take screenshots of this thread, if things become heated or increasingly "interesting".
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>Do you think they exist?Â
Yes
>Do you think they have visited Earth?Â
There is no definitive proof, and Humans are nothing of interest, but yes.Â
>Do you believe the videos you see on YouTube?Â
All videos, images, and text pertaining to extraterrestrials is false. For all we know, the visitors in question could be kilometer long space whales that are made of diametrically opposing energies in a self-contained plasmodermic bubbles that communicates on a level in which we cannot comprehend.
>Does NASA or the Government know something we don't?Â
Most likely. But then again no one will ever know.
>Do you think everyone who thinks the Government is hiding shit from us is a tin-foil hat wearer?Â
Some are, some are not.
>Why do you think they do or do not exist?Â
It is entierly improbable that some kind of extraterrestrial life exists in the universe. Be they living in our galactic neighborhood or not. Maybe they live hundreds of trillions of lightyears away from the edges of our known space and we will never know them. Maybe they live on the moon. Nothing to do but speculate. Some form of alien life exists. Either in the form of single celled organisms, small fish, humanoids, or space whales.
I've just finished watching Guilty Crown, and that shit is seriously underrated. I'm surprised it's more more popular. I'm a newcomer to anime, and I really hate most of the anime community, so I'm asking you guys for decent suggestions.
I've seen Code Geass (best piece of media I've ever seen), Elfen Lied, Monster and Death Note.
>tl;dr what's a good anime?
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>older sister called me
>"anon, my computer is broken. Come over to fix it..."
>went over the next day (today)
>she's still at work
>got my own key to her apartment
>found a buttload of useless shareware, freeware and searchbars
>get rid of them, deleted system32...you know, the usual
>computer fixed - sis still not home
>"let's see what the browser history has to say"
>chin hitting the ground, breaking the floor in that process
>found a tons of wincest porn!
>hentai, video, stories...you name it!
>every bit I found was exclusively brother-sister wincest!
>came buckets
>went home
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>>7304 You'll be fine man. With LSD, just keep it on/under your tongue for 5 minutes then swallow it, it's only with the NBOMe family you have to keep it in your mouth for like 30 minutes.
Just look at awesome pictures of nature, and remember that you are on a chemical, nothing bad will happen to you and you will probably experience some weird physical effects, these are all part of the experience. Enjoy yourself and write down/draw as much as you want to help you remember the trip
more accurately, im coming down off it. took it around 10 hours ago. its not acid but its very likely what you're getting (cuz real acid's very rare and people use nbome as a replacement all the fucking time).
Yesterday I had the worst first date experience with the girl of my dreams.
>Lunch at her place
>She lives with her milf-ish divorced mother and younger sister
>Mother and sister really liked me
>Everyone laughing their hearts out at my stories during lunch
>Mother and sister leave us
>Me and the girl go back to her room and cuddle while watching old anime and youtube crap
>She seems to be enjoying my company
>Time flies by
>Already dark outside
>I have to leave because I have work to finish
>When separating she hugs me so tight I can feel her heartbeat.
>While on the train going home I think how well it went
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I'm pretty sure it was her. Both her mother and sister have their own laptops and I don't think they would do anything like this. And it felt like her style of writing.
We were very close trough skype. Talking everyday about everything from morning to dusk. It was so nice while it lasted.