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Thread 6818 hidden.
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in august, i had an abortion and ever since, i've not been able to enjoy sex or masturbation. i get sore too quickly, to the point of tearing up and nearly crying. thus, i've not had an orgasm for over eight months, and it's becoming extremely frustrating.
so what the fuck do i do, /b/?
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go see a doctor, quit complaining about your dumb shit on the internet
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Go back to your doctor and ask him for the fetus he aborted out of you. He'll have it in a hazmat bag somewhere around the office, all doctors do.
On your way home with the fetus, pick up a shitton of lube. You're going to need it.
When you get back, set out a bunch of newspaper, strip, and lie on it, on your back. Lube yourself up, and coat the fetus in lube as well for good measure.
Now, very slowly, insert the fetus all the way inside yourself. Make sure to use a swift thrusting motion to get it inside your cervix. This will hurt like hell, but luckily you can just bite your own tongue. Like a bullet!
Once the fetus is all the way inside your cervix, your brain will send secret fetus spices down into the fetus itself, reactivating it. The fetus will reanimate, and begin hitting all the pleasure buttons inside your womb.
This is the problem with abortions. Who's going to man the womb-buttons if there's no fetus inside your womb?
Over time, your pregnancy will develop. Do NOT let this occur. When you feel yourself going into labour, tie your legs together with duct tape. The fetus will attempt to escape, but when it starts to feel its head being crushed by your thighs, it'll get the message and crawl back in.
Hope this helps, good luck.
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>>6820
Beware! This is the secret to make mustard gaz!
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you should have thought of the consequences before you had unprotected sex...expecting tax payers to pay for your party mistakes...and sentencing an innocent life to death...just remember when you say its just a clump of cells...science says YOU are a clump of cells...reap the benefits i hope your symptoms last forever
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Consider it karma for murdering your own child
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Thread 10216 hidden.
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Going to make a sexy truth or dare game for me and my gf. Suggestions welcomed.
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first time using ichan
came from 4chan
how do you do, fellow chaners?
Thread 7575 hidden.
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ITT: tell your gay experiences in greentext will be posting slime until thread kicks off
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>>7582
>his hand is too low
>K's fingers hit my bareskin gooch
>i feel those icy fingers move up to my sack
>he passionately rubs each testicle ever so slightly
>i just stare up in amazement, trying to fathom what is happening
>apparently his arm was stretched as far as it could go, so he shimmies his body down a bit
>his full hand is now around my testicles/gooch
>K snakes his hand up to my raging cock
>his and my breath get heavier
>he leisurely strokes the base of my boner with his soft, tiny hands
>his hand moves up and down, escalating to a steady pace
>using his other hand, K guides my dormant hand to his shorts
>i just go with the flow
>they are too tight to penetrate, so i move my hand to the crotch of his shorts
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>>7583
>i swiftly get a grip of his cock
>it feels different than mine, much more curved and short
>i dont care though, i just stroke away at the little guy
>after around a minute of concentrated stroking, K moves his hand out of my pants
>i am very puzzled
>he props his body up so he is sitting indian style on the couch
>i tilt my head down to see what he is up to
>he peers over the side of the couch, looking at T and H
>i move my head over as well
>T's head is literally a foot aways from mine
>silentpanic.gif
>K assures me "we're good, dont worry"
>i calm down a bit
>K collapses his body so he is facing me
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>>7584
fuck sorry guys, im a bit autistic when it comes to typing. basically after that i just passed out haha. i woke up the next morning wondering what had happened. K and i are still buddies today, we have never talked about our little explorations with anyone. you are the first to here /b/
oh, i have tons of other stories involving K and i throughout middle and high school if you are interested. any takers?
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>be me
>go to ichan
>see faggot op
>cringe at it
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Thread 10211 hidden.
Thread 7300 hidden.
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How's your life /b/ros?
>18
>Never had a job
>Have my GED
>Just got my license 6 months ago
>Come from low income family
>No college whatsoever
>No jobs calling me back
>No skills or trades at all
>Never owned a car
>Still live with parents
>inb4 I'm a brain surgeon making 6 figures at the age of 21 and fuck bitches everyday while drinking golden tequila
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>28
>virgin (doesn't bother me, but really seems to get most people)
>college, AA, 1 foreign language class away from BA
>have "attempted" this class multiple times. Hate the arbitrary requirement so much I can never bring myself to complete it.
>Good IT certifications. Turns out I hate sitting behind a desk.
>Co-owned a business. Good ideas, but husband-and-wife co-owners kept out-voting me. Sold shares, business went bankrupt.
>Pizza driver. Hate it.
>About a month away from pilot's license.
>Don't want to work - even flight loses its appeal when I have to do it to live. No way out of it I guess.
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>32
>No job now
>high school dep
>Have car, no license
>No gf or bf
>No college whatsoever
>No jobs calling me back
>YouTube partnership that pays less than needed
>Still live with parents
>Just got off bail
fml
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File
Removed
>60, not particularly wealthy, smart, or attractive
>First marriage 10 yrs, (in the 80s) current one 14 yrs, Brasileira
>Lived in 5 countries, 12 places in this one
>Accountant
>Don't sweat the sex/relationship stuff, or beat yourself up over it, you only control half of the game. Most of it is luck.
>Make yourself happy, only you can do it.
>Don't be an asshole, and things will be fine
>Occam's razor is very useful.
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Well, there is an alternative. Learn to have the amenities enjoyed but by your own hands (sounds as if you're already headed that way) and be the hermit living off the land. Still gotta work for food but not for $$ for food
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Thread 7287 hidden.
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OKC and POF stories and tips
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>>7287
>Create profile
>Minimal success
>wait 1 year do nothing
>??????????
>Hot and Intelligent Finnish girl messages me
>Now we are in love and shit is so cash.
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>>7289
pic?
>Ive been browsing back and forth on both of those
>no luck on match.com plus fuck spending money
>meet new girl every couple months
>act like i want to settle down
>have sex
>break their little hearts when they want a relationship
>profit???
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i was thinking of online dating
pros, cons?
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>>7292
Pros
>dont have to go out and buy bar whores drinks
>get their cell after a brief convo
>text them for a week or so
>hang out and see what happens
>profit????
Cons
>make up some bullshit around your friends etc on where you met the girl
>may see people you went to high school with/ people you may know
Its free why not try it?
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how many people do you guys message?
I think i've messaged about 10-15 girls in the 2-3 months i've been on the site......
had 2 dates out of that....... and some other short conversations on the phone.....
for some reason i think a girl will message me but they never do.
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Thread 7318 hidden.
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You receive $50,000 tomorrow. You have to spend it. What do you buy?
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>>7321
Government student loans are a little better about canceling when you die, but privately held student loans? Not so much. They'd find some family member to stick the debt upon. Everybody likes to claim "oh why do I care when I'll be dead anyway" until they actually think about their legacy becoming some obscure niece resenting having to pay for the student loans of some asshole uncle who choked to death on drugs and tranny dick.
$50,000 is a good down payment on, well, probably not your dream home, but a respectable enough rental property right between the suburbs and farm country. You could charge a rent for your entire house that's comparable with an apartment in the nearest city and still make back your initial investment quickly.
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boring as it is, 50k in savings. not interested in coke and hookers tbh
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Thread 10186 hidden.
Thread 7339 hidden.
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SEX THREAD
>ask for advice/help
>share stories
>answer questions
No judgement, we are in this thread to enlighten.
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>>7339
I havent had sex in 2 years.
Im also super depressed
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19 years old, virgin, like 3 lost chances because I'm a romantic pussy...
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Hey man, i've been there. Â I've had longer dry spells. Â I've had to ask myself, "Am I going after sex or a relationship."
It's not a complete solution, but, it got me down the path that I needed to go.
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>>7341
I was that romantic pussy and didn't get laid until I was 25. Â I don't regret it, but, maybe I could have been more assertive with girls earlier. Â
Do you want to have sex with girls that you are in relationships with? Â Or, do you just want sex?
Getting sex is easy if you turn off your conscious. Â You won't care who they are and what happens after.
Getting sex in a relationship is ALWAYS hard and it will always be hard.
You are living the life that we all are living.
Good luck.
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Thread 9393 hidden.
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Hey /b/. Trap here just wanna ask for some cosplay suggestions since the night shift is slow.
>5'4"
>105 lbs
Preferably anything with tights.
Not doing pics of myself at work
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>>9393
i'm 5'6" and 125 pounds, I've been eating less than 1000 cals a day, any suggestions? I want to reach 110 or so
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>>9394
I wish I had advice, I just have a high metabolism
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>>9395
i've been underweight as a motherfucker before, pretty much skinny my entire life, but I gained weight like 3 years ago to normal weight or so, and I want to go back to my petite cute body
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>>9396
hmm, i've been thinking about becoming a trap for a while now. I don't really have lust for cock but it's getting really boring fapping to women and wearing the same clothes all the time.
Why are you a trap?
Fleur, anime was shit but fleur was hot
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Thread 7521 hidden.
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What would happen if a sun made of ice would collide with the normal sun, which is made of lava? Both suns are same size, and the sun made of ice is at -1000 Celsius, and the normal sun is at +1000 Celsius.
Would their temperatures cancel each other and leave only empty space, or would they leave a zero degree sun?
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7522 - you really worked on that one dint you
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The ice star (which doesn't really exist) would melt as it come closer to the "normal' star.
Since a Class G star radiate heat to a distance and ice "stuff" coming it way would melt.
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I think the ice sun would get sunburnt. Not sure about the hot sun though. Hope he has a nice cock though.
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-1000°C are absolute impossible! Go back to school and take your money back. the lowest possible temperature is -273°C, this is 0K.
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....the normal sun, which is made of lava....
I think We need our money back on this guy...
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Thread 7431 hidden.
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Name a better death metal album
>protip: you can't
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Anata - The Conductor's Departure
Anything from Hieronymus Bosch
Coprofago - Unorthodox Creative Criteria
Beyond Creation - The Aura
Some Decapitated albums, maybe
I personally enjoy Benighted a lot, but I don't consider it that good.
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Thread 7374 hidden.
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Great to god tier animes. I need another one to watch.
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I love romance.
If you like Inuyasha, watch Dance in the Vampire Bund.
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>>7377
Good list, but they forgot Peacemaker Kurogane and Porco Rosso. Â Ok they actually forgot most of the great Miyazaki movies. Â Bonus points for mentioning Shura no Toki...I thought I was the only one who liked it.
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non non biyori is the best anime that I've ever seen. I like too love chunibyo & other delusions same genre but different.
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Made in Abyss
Cowboy Bebop
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