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/di/ ~ GID? Fetish? confusion?
No. 825 Quote report
825

File 1421642226993.jpg


Hi, im 25 years, maybe my history is some cliché let me tell you some.

Since my childhood i always felt some effeminate, but never gave it importance, i remember started seeing xxx videos (only straight) like at my 11 years, one day suddently i imagined me as the girl in the video and i liked it, but also i liked to imagine me as the boy… some monts later i remember seeing a friend(he was froma another city) and i felt strange, i felt like a girl at his side, also remembered all these xxx videos i saw before and started fantasizing having sex with him but me being a girl, i wanted so hard to be with him but i was so shy to tell him…

I was 12 when decided to tell him next time i saw him (like 1 year later) so in that time i began to practice making a girly voice, i wished so hard my breasts grew a little so i could look more feminine for him, also i had a lot of porn videos to show him how i wanted to be with him but sadly i never saw him again u_u

I continued fantasizing but my fantasies started being more than only sex, one of my most recurrent fantasy was dressing me with feminine clothes, use make up, so i could look like a girl, have a date, going out and people see a normal straight couple and no one know i was a boy, and finally after the date, having sex…

I never knew about transsexualism until my 19 years, i see some videos of traps but i thought they were hermaphrodites so i couldn't have a feminine body because i wasn't … one day some guy in internet show me some pics of transsexuals and told me if i liked it, i said yes, and he told me i could become one and told me all about transgender and hormones, etc.. at first i was shocked, but at the same time i liked it, i felt so identified with that (having a feminine body, and girl sexual role)

Since that i started to see mostly transsexual porn (before i liked to see straight but it was more like i wanted) and rarely see "normal" porn (like 95% of times i see transsexual porn)… at first i thought it was only a fetish so in some months it would be gone or less but it wasn't

Researching in internet i read that this could be a fetish if after i fap all these desires disappeared, but in my case these didn't disappeared at all, even there are days i wish i was a girl without having sexual desires, some days is see girls and feel envy for their bodies.

Some years have passed but i still confused, what should i do?

Sorry for long post, and thanks for your answers :)

[–]Anonymous 01/19/15 (Mon) 06:23:31 No.4355>>435


>>

Work on becoming more and more feminine. You'll develop a better sense of self, and as you approach the cusp of transitioning, you'll know if it's the right thing to do or not.


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>>826
Or you can avoid what this kike shill is saying and go seek help, you mentally defunct faggot.


>>

>>825
Do you have a body type and appearance where you could transition successfully?

>>827
Fuck off.


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>>828
i feel i have some feminine shaped legs but also i have some big shoulders u_u


>> File 1421742049841.jpg
830

OP, I know how you feel.
For me it started with my first orgasm, at age 12, while I was in girls clothes. I didn't know what I was doing, I was just wiggling around under the covers, enjoying the feeling of being feminine. My penis rubbed against the sheets, and the stimulation caused me to ejaculate all over myself. I didn't fully understand what had happened for a good minute or two; it was pretty scary, to be honest.

After that came the hypnosis stage for me. I fruitlessly scoured the internet, looking for free hypnosis audio files that would somehow magically make me female.

Unfortunately, along the way, I discovered porn: straight, and transgendered. Once I figured out that I could touch myself while watching these videos, and that the post ejaculation haze could make me not have desires that haunt me, I forgot about the way that I felt, the desire to be a girl.

For some reason, it never occurred to me that through asking to be turned into a girl, I could get the support of my family. I could have been a prepubescent transitioner, but I lacked the courage to ask for what I wanted.

Now, I'm turning 20, a little overweight, broad shouldered and hairy. My body feels disgusting and I hate being in it.

Another confusing part for me is that I am mostly attracted to women. In my visions of life, both as a girl and a guy, I see myself settling down with a woman. I feel perverse for simultaneously wanting to be with a woman, and to be a woman.

I want to transition, but I'm afraid it will ruin my life. Spare me the "be yourself" crap; I know what the job market for trans women is like, and what girl would want a man-lady like me?

I guess I just needed to get that all out of my system, and to get my foot in the door in this thread. I'll be lurking.


>>

>>830
>Another confusing part for me is that I am mostly attracted to women. In my visions of life, both as a girl and a guy, I see myself settling down with a woman. I feel perverse for simultaneously wanting to be with a woman, and to be a woman.

My impression is that a lot of aspiring transwomen start off thinking they're going to be transbians, and then the hormones kick in and their identity shifts more and more to their actually being women, and then they find themselves increasingly drawn to men.


>>

>>830
Thanks for your answer :)

>and that the post ejaculation haze could make me not have desires that haunt me, I forgot about the way that I felt, the desire to be a girl.

i felt something similar, after ejaculation, my sexual desires almost disappeared, but not at all, i felt confusion thinking things like "if i´m a boy why i want to be like a girl?" also made me lots of promises of don´t thinking about being a girl but always continued doing it…

>Now, I'm turning 20, a little overweight, broad shouldered and hairy. My body feels disgusting and I hate being in it.

i feel the same, but i must say i don´t hate my genitals, so i would´nt go for a SRS

>Another confusing part for me is that I am mostly attracted to women. In my visions of life, both as a girl and a guy, I see myself settling down with a woman. I feel perverse for simultaneously wanting to be with a woman, and to be a woman.

another thing i feel identified with you, i feel emotionally attracted to girls, but sexually i want to be a girl, also physically i´d prefer to be a girl

>I want to transition, but I'm afraid it will ruin my life

i´d love to transition too but also i´m afraid of doing it, the last year i tried to do a test, but unfortunately i did´nt found the hormones easy, only found the t-blocker but this was too expensive so it could be difficult for me to stay buying both u_u…

someone said me to make a try by 2-3 weeks, she told me if by that time i still wanted to continue that was the signal to do it, but if not, i must stop immediately, sadly i couldn't do that try so i still confused :S

another thing i must say is not always think about being a girl for erotic reasons, i don't need to have an erection thinking of it , also when i think about being a girl i feel invaded by a type of anxiety, i cant explain exactly how i feel


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>>831
well, i don't really thought about it, how i said i feel emotionally attracted to girls, but sexually to boys, also don't feel ready for a relationship

is it true that with hormones you start feeling attraction to boys? i´ve read something but wasn't sure if this was real, what happens that make you feel that?


>> File 1421787459972.jpg
834

>>833
>is it true that with hormones you start feeling attraction to boys?

That was my impression, but I don't know if it's directly the hormones or part of a much greater process of feeling like a woman.

Maybe Luna will chime in, as she mentioned something like this.

>i´ve read something but wasn't sure if this was real, what happens that make you feel that?

I can't answer that directly, but I can offer some thoughts. The vast majority of women seem to have a deep need for men, even if they're bisexual like so many women are, and it's built on much more than sex. I've been wanting to start a thread on traps and relationships, as I've noticed that the traps who come off as being the most normal/stable tend to have husbands. Regular women seem to have a lot of issues not being in LTRs, and I'm guessing that with traps it is 10x worse.


>>

>>832
The anxiety… I think I know exactly what you mean.

>>834
>Regular women seem to have a lot of issues not being in LTRs, and I'm guessing that with traps it is 10x worse.

Interesting, I've always felt kind of depressed and incomplete when out of relationship. It's not robot tier loneliness, but still not great


>>

>>835
honestly i dont feel bad for dont having a relationship, im used to be single, also i cant imagine me being with a boy, and dont feel ready to have a relationship with a girl


>>

>>834
>>is it true that with hormones you start feeling attraction to boys?
>That was my impression, but I don't know if it's directly the hormones or part of a much greater process of feeling like a woman.

Well it happened for me and it started before I took hormones (but not much before). About 12 months ago I thought that I'm only into girls. About 10 months ago I saw one "emo" guy at a train station and the thought "hu, he looks sweet" followed by "wait a moment, what did you just think?". About a month or two later I was able to suck my first dick by chance and I really liked it, but still found most guys totally unattractive and unappealing. A couple more months later I got my first boyfriend, some guy from another image board. When he fucked me for the first time I had an epiphany: I just knew that this is what I was always longing for. Still I found not that many males attractive. Lately I find myself to be attracted to males more and more and find may more attractive by now. Currently I have a crush on a nice guy but unfortunately while we already did fuck a few months go he is currently very insecure and it is unclear if anything develops from it. Oh and while this all happened I slowly lost my interest in girls. I still like female bodies and touching them but real sexual attraction I now feel to guys. Just thinking about my crush gives me feels inside me :)


>> File 1422064235532.jpg
838

>>837
+10 story! I would love to hear others from other traps.

To contrast with my own situation, I'm a straight guy who switched his focus from regular women to traps about 2 years ago. I wondered at the time if I would eventually become attracted to guys, since I like girls with cocks. It never happened. The most I can say is that I am a little more open minded to things that would have turned me off back then, like traps who were completely flat chested. Honestly, the difference has been slight. Men simply don't do anything for me, even though I know life would be easier if I were into guys than being into traps/girls.

I think both of our stories would echo among the people here. Going MtF means a high likelihood of switching from girls to guys, and liking traps means a low likelihood of switching anything. You still like girls with cocks


>>

I'm bumping my favorite threads to make sure they're not wiped off the board while the forum is being slid.


>>

>>833
>is it true that with hormones you start feeling attraction to boys?

I've always been bisexual so I can't tell you. I will say being on HRT has made men far more responsive for whatever reason.


>>

>>838

This is kind of how it worked for me too, only in my case the catalyst wasn't just simply switching to different kinds of porn. I was completely, 100% straight (or at least so I thought) until the tranny at my school asked me out. I decided to give it a try and we eventually got into a long-term relationship, during which time we frequently jacked each other off and I occasionally even sucked her dick. I never took it in the ass (nor did I have any desire to) but sucking lady dick was kind of nice. I eventually broke things off because she turned out to be a crazy manipulative bitch, but my newfound attraction for traps remained.

I have no attraction to the male figure, and I would never suck a dude's dick (cuz traps have lmaofemininedicks) but I guess you could say having a trap ask me out did change my sexuality somewhat.




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