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/con/ ~ I'm turning 35yo soon in a few weeks. And I&#...
No. 169713 Quote report

File 3678086632_059e8a5763.jpg

I'm turning 35yo soon in a few weeks. And I'm stil a virgin. Really No kidding! What can I do? (this is a serious question. For those who think I'm trollin. Well I'm not.

I see all this porn like cytherea and kelly wells and wonderbang.. (who are average 12 years younger than me). Seeing they have had so much dick and let bad men fuck them but not me.. Makes me a sad panda.

<--- my lonely heart in a bucket.. (which is my mood right now)

Story continued (with longer paragraphs..):

Prostitute 1
I live 40KM away from the weedy-city called Amsterdam. So I went to a window-prostitute (which legal overhere) in 2010. Polish girl lured me in. All nice smiles and friendliness. Turned out to be all lies. I did touch her naked body hair to toes though. And she was supertight and petite. But THEN I couldn't get jimmy up! 50 euro down the drain. I was outside within 5 minutes. No action at all. And felt like an even sadder Panda..

Prostitute 2
Tried this again 2 years later. Same thing. I did kiss and lick her body though. But no action (same jimmy-condition). She saw I couldnt get it up, no help. I was jerking away to get it up. After 2 secs she says "are you done?" (fuck her). Says I should come back some otehr time with more money. And my time was now up (lasted 4 minutes while we agreed on 20). Says I was all talk.. I shouldve said "you is all con-artist" (why does everybody feel sorry for these loudmouth East-European girls anyway they're all con-arstists?)

Kool Moe Dee ?
Anyway I "go see the doctor" like that rap song. Doc says he wants to do rectal exam (even laughs) to check my prostate. I thought I'm openminded so why not. He lubes up his glove then last minute I said no. Because he also wants me to undergo bloodtests, diabetes-test and whatnot. Says its must be between my ears too and I must see a psychologist or sexuologist as well. Costs me a ton of money which is the catch. Ans usually brings no solution but more pain (I might be a virgin but am not stupid).. So I said no and asked for the quick solution of viagra/cialis. Says it's not permitted he needs to do tests first. (clearly wants my money instead of solution) I say I only want sex not corporate headgames. So he precribes the lowest dosage of Cialis.

The Cialis.
I go get the cialis at my pharmacist. Pharma-outlet says: You need to pay 45$ for 2 pills. I say What the doctor said it was a mere 14$ a pill. He said well we count service costst bc repack. I said ok then I take 1 bc I'm not sure if it'll work and I got migraines. Well he says it's not cheaper tho. because 1 pill would be $30!! *my disbelief they;re fucking me bc of my condition even hear a women in the back laugh* I said ok I take the damn pills you fucking *....* (he was indian)

Short conclusion.
Cialis is sittin in my pocket for 1.5 months now. Not sure to try and take it. Not sure if it will work or just give me headaches (am migraine patient).

This is no fun.

.. And I just want to fuck..

Advice pls kind anons?



Lots of fucking chloroform


Hey, I live 40km away from Amsterdam too!

Advice: If you have enough money and prostitutes is your thing, look online. kinky.nl is better to suit your needs than a window girl, though I personally still don't find that enough, because I like spending more than just an hour with a woman, but doing that is very costly.